| your my disappointment
not happy..
so not happy..
so so not happy..
its times like this when i dont feel like i can take staying at home.
why?
everyday, i wake up to her constant yelling
everyday, i wake up crying
everyday, i cry
i dont want to stay here anymore.
i need my ciggarettes
and your not helping, but then again i cant blame you. i expect too much from you, silently. bottom line is.. i just wished you'r around when i need you, which is liek what.. once in a blue moon?
funny how when you need someone, their never there. just like how when you at your happiest, they arent. and when you arent, they are. maybe im being all negative because im all bitter and shit inside, but face it, when im mad/sad/frustrated, thats when i see things clearly, its when i start to realize things i've never noticed before. or am i just being a complete idiot?
when life gets me down, i smoke, i sleep, i eat, i run away, i hide. notice how talking to someone isnt in that list? i dont talk, no, i dont talk. just being around them, listening to them talk about abosolute nothing already calms me down. its the awkward silence that i find not so awkward, infact, i tend to find them comforting in a way.
being in his arms is where i want to be now. i know i cant cry infront of him -i dont intend to.
someone kill me now. like...... now
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